Have you ever heard of the phrase “hot mess?” Well the word “mad” comes to mind when discussing my personality. Why you ask? Well, heres the thing…my name is Madison, therefore many people call me, Mad. However, I am also all over the place, crazy, and goofy, and I don’t mind it one bit because we all need a little craziness in our lives, am I right?
Hopefully I haven’t scared you off by now, so if you’re reading this, stay tuned…
As I said before, my name is Madison Bartlett, my friends call me Mads.
Why am I blogging?
I am someone who loves writing as a way to express myself. Being a pretty shy individual, this is the perfect outlet. I truly believe it is something that can be so powerful!
Throughout the past 4 1/2 years, my life has gone through severe high’s and low’s…
I was a high-level gymnast for over 10 years. (I’ll do another blog post about this down the road(:. I trained in the gym 4-5 hours a day, 4-5 days a week and was very committed. ** During my time as a competitive gymnast, like many athletes I have gone through my series of injuries. December 14th, 2012, March 13th, 2014 and December 18th, 2016 are three dates that will be embedded in my mind forever. These are the dates of my three spinal surgeries.**
I have been dealing with chronic pain and repercussions from these surgeries. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2015 and have had a lot of heartbreak. Chronic pain, depression, and anxiety are three issues that will turn your entire wold upside down.
Throughout the past several years I have lost 6 family members back to back . There is no other feeling in the world like losing a loved one, and it became very routine going to funerals which took a toll on me and my family.**
While going through all of these difficult situations at such a young age, it has shaped me into who I am today, and has taught me so much about life. That’s why I’m here now!
I am very passionate when it comes to mental health, and truly believe that it does not get enough positive attention. When people think of someone having a mental disorder, a negative relation is made. A close minded connotation may come to mind when people hear the word “depression.” Depression is not a dirty word, and it doesn’t make someone a bad person, or wrong for feeling that way. Depression is a chemical imbalance which causes an individual to be in dark space. My psychologist always said, you could be on an island with 2 million dollars in cash lying next to you and you could still be depressed.
Now that I am in a somewhat better headspace I can be more confident and open up about these topics, because I want to help as many people as possible and put the good, the bad, the ugly out in the open and share my experience and hopefully give others courage to share their stories. Maybe, we can all help each other conquer this obstacle course we call life.
Anxiety is a silent bully that can control one’s every step, every breath, every decision. It took over my life, and I have since learned to cope with it, however it is something that has been overlooked by many. Anxiety was like a dictator in my life for so long, that everything I did, anxiety ran my mind. It became so bad that I couldn’t go anywhere without my brother or mom. It also got so uncontrollable to the point where I began having 1-2 panic attacks a day. I went to the hospital when it became too much to handle. I still have anxiety every single day, and the challenge is knowing how to handle it before it becomes uncontrollable. Research shows that having an anxiety attack/panic attack is equivalent to sprinting a mile. I’m sweaty, out of breath, exhausted, and drained after dealing with an episode.
To, those dealing with depression, anxiety, or any mental illness…please know that your life is far from over, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that you’re not alone! I still deal with anxiety and depression everyday, but as time goes on, I have learned my triggers, and how to live on a day-to-day basis, coping with it as best as I can.
Pain… the bodies worst enemy. As a high-level athlete, I have built up a high tolerance of pain, however the feelings that I have endured over the last 4 1/2 years have been so unbearable I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.** I will make a detailed blog post dedicated to this down the road. When people think of chronic pain, some may not believe the individual, or some may think their exaggerating. I have been accused of lying about my pain in the past by, people I knew, and by doctors. Unfortunately, many people with this“disorder” endure this all the time, and it drives me absolutely insane! I have been in and out of ER’s so many times due to a flare up I have lost count.
My goal for blogging:
Through my journey I have had many lows, therefore I had a negative mindset for a very long time. I would think, “why am I being put through this?” “Why me?” I recently started to tell myself, and grasp that everything happens for a reason. (I know this may sound cheesy), but its true! Everyone used to tell me this and I would either ignore it, or roll my eyes, because I just didn’t want to hear it back then. Now that I am more mature, and reaching the age of 21 my views have taken a complete 180. I truly believe that God has put me on this earth for a reason, and has a plan for me. God is giving me this rough journey because He know’s I can handle it, and there is a purpose to all of this madness. I have accepted the fact that I may never learn what that purpose is, but I am determined to never give up.
More than anything, I know what it’s like to be in a dark hole, thinking life would never get better…
My goal is to hopefully inspire, help and reach out to anyone who is need of a friend, advise, love, hope, or even just a little laugh. I want to help people feel better, and help those who are struggling through tough times. My dream is to have this be an outlet for anyone who needs to escape reality for a little bit. One of my favorite sayings is, “be someone who makes someone else look forward to tomorrow.”
When visiting AuthenticallyMad:
You will be able to all different sides of me, and hopefully have some fun! There will be, chronic pain awareness, mental health advocate work, inspirational content, fashion, beauty, travel, interior design, food, health, fitness, photography, and an advise column, “let’s be real”
Key- ** I will make more detailed blog posts down the road
I am overjoyed to begin this blog, so stay tuned because were just getting started. Let the fun begin, xoxo Mad