As I sit here on my bedroom floor, I keep wiping away tear drops that fall onto my computer with my sleeve. Will this hole in my body ever go away? Will this hollow, emptiness of hurt ever get out of my body? What would life be like without the pain? And no, I don’t mean the physical, back pain. I mean the pain in my heart, my chest, the weight thats on my shoulders, and in my brain… the mental pain of everything. Everything. Could I wake up and not feel like crying, and actually be happy? is it possible? I don’t know if those questions will ever be answered.
When I had the urge of crying tonight, the first thing I thought of was to write. I don’t know where I’m trying to go with this, but as I sit here in a puddle of my own tears I didn’t want to feel alone…My brain feels like a punching bag, and I can’t stop bad thoughts from coming, and tears from running down my face.
I want to be able to be positive for so many of you, however I promised myself that I would be one hundred percent real…so here it is.