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Day 4 ~ July Challenge : Discuss 4th of July
Now anytime I can hold a sparkler and coordinate a fun outfit I’m always down and ready for a good time!
However, when it comes to the 4th of July, a lot of different emotions, surface. As most of you know, I was homeschooled for the last 3 years of high school and it was extremely difficult for me to go to parties, hang with friends, and be fully involved due to my condition. Every time these type of Holidays come up, such as New Year’s Eve, 4th of July, and Halloween came up, anxiety runs through my body like lighting and I become so beyond nervous. The reasoning is, these Holiday’s are mainly spent with friends, going out, and in our generation if you didn’t go out, everyone would view you as “weird.” There were a few times that I couldn’t experience these Holidays due to being in recovery, or just physically wasn’t able to attend because of pain, or being on certain medications. This series of issues, led to people forgetting about me, and not fully putting my situation into consideration and I was no longer thought of or invited anywhere.
It became so hard for me to deal with that I would, ask and sometimes beg my mom if we could go anywhere else besides New Jersey, because I couldn’t bare being home. At that time in my life, it took more of a toll then it does now. When you’re 15-19 years old, it took over my mind and it made a huge impact on me, emotionally. It is unbelievably hard these days to get away, because social media is everywhere and everyone is on it, constantly.
I take those certain situations, and I look at them and think about how I used to think versus how I think now. I am grateful that at a young age, I have learned about mistrust, and the true meaning of friendship. Yes, it was very hard for me to deal with when I was a teenager, and it still stings a little bit when I truly think about it. However, now when this 4th of July came, I was actually excited. I had a relaxing and enjoyable time with people who I love and who truly love me.
If you’re someone who has dealt with being left out, anxiety, or hurt feelings, please know that it is not the end of the world and you will be a stronger person at the end of the day. It hurts now but, you will be happy again and you find your true friends and family when the crap hits the fan, trust me. I encourage everyone to extend your invites, talk to different people, ask how someone is feeling, or extend a helping hand. You never know what someone is going through until you walk in their shoes. Everyone has their own demon inside of them that they deal with, so be that person who makes someone smile for a day.
I hope everyone had an enjoyable Holiday with people you love!